Today I was pleasantly surprised to find a letter from Roni (goddess musings) in my post office box. I am not going to disclose the details of it, because some of it was personal, but the sweetness of it got me choked up. It really does mean something to receive both feedback on the zine I do, and to get it in the form of a handwritten note (and inside a pretty dolphin card, at that). These days it seems like nobody wants to make time for anything. The internet is great, in that it allows instant publication and dispersion of ideas, but it also tends to cheapen our lives by creating this norm that if something takes more than 10 seconds, than it is not worthwhile. Last week I had to teach adolescents how to address an envelope. This amazed me, that these kids had no idea that they had to provide certain bits of information, legibly, and in a particular order in a particular spot on an envelope, for it to reach its destination.
So, thanks Roni. You restored my faith in humanity for a few days.
понедельник, 20 апреля 2009 г.
среда, 8 апреля 2009 г.
Propaganda
Tonight I made another copy run of my zine because I was fresh out (or just being fresh. depends on who you ask) and then decided to head up to "The Mall" to go to the pseudo punk store because I had a little money I wanted to spend on fuck-offish items in a futile attempt to make myself feel better. I got the evil Hello Kitty t-shirt especially to wear to my retail job because, well, because. And a skull & crossbones bracelet to wear at my real job because, as a figure of authority, I think I ought to have death pendants.
Anyway, while wandering through the maul I saw flag & war propaganda crap everywhere. Sears had their "army girl" t-shirts and flags on everything. I'm pretty sure the other stores did too, but I steer clear of Abercrombie & Bitch to begin with. It made my skin crawl.
Everywhere.
I do not try to veil my beliefs in the media lie of "objectivity."
So, that is my half-baked telling of why I might put up lots of anti-war propaganda. It's to counteract.
Anyway, while wandering through the maul I saw flag & war propaganda crap everywhere. Sears had their "army girl" t-shirts and flags on everything. I'm pretty sure the other stores did too, but I steer clear of Abercrombie & Bitch to begin with. It made my skin crawl.
Everywhere.
I do not try to veil my beliefs in the media lie of "objectivity."
So, that is my half-baked telling of why I might put up lots of anti-war propaganda. It's to counteract.
воскресенье, 5 апреля 2009 г.
bookstore spam
"Borders Celebrates Educators
By Offering Them 25% OFF Almost Everything in Our Stores!
I just thought I'd bring that to everyone's attention. Or to remind myself. Now, everyone go pretend you're teachers and take advantage of it. All they want is a school address and phone number. I'm not encouraging deception exactly, but I think most people can be considered educators, even if they are not employed in a school system.
By Offering Them 25% OFF Almost Everything in Our Stores!
I just thought I'd bring that to everyone's attention. Or to remind myself. Now, everyone go pretend you're teachers and take advantage of it. All they want is a school address and phone number. I'm not encouraging deception exactly, but I think most people can be considered educators, even if they are not employed in a school system.
пятница, 3 апреля 2009 г.
Thanks
Thank yous to everyone who left nice comments or wrote me several long emails (which a few people did). I am not feeling much better, but I am grateful that it doesn't feel like the entire planet hates my guts right now. Just a select few and most students.
I'll repeat here what I wrote on my livejournal-- don't call a suicide watch on me...but don't think I'm a happy camper either. My smile is a disguise. I know this funk will pass, but I don't
know when, and I don't know how to change the things that are supposedly not in my hands to change.
[I'll post more later tonight maybe after I do zine, distro, and research paper stuffs]
I'll repeat here what I wrote on my livejournal-- don't call a suicide watch on me...but don't think I'm a happy camper either. My smile is a disguise. I know this funk will pass, but I don't
know when, and I don't know how to change the things that are supposedly not in my hands to change.
[I'll post more later tonight maybe after I do zine, distro, and research paper stuffs]
вторник, 17 марта 2009 г.
my scream got lost in a paper cup/
I think there's a heaven where my screams have gone
The most discouraging thing is feeling like I have nothing new to add to the collective (un)consciousness.
I was going to write my interpretation of American Beauty, because it really struck me when I viewed it for a second time on Tuesday. Now I don't feel like bothering because I am sure that I made no real new observations. It must have already been written about in that way. The ambiguity of the ending has surely been analyzed to death.
I have been feeling like this about everything lately. I have no different angle...nothing new to add to the conversation...nothing witty to say...nothing remotely intelligent to say...and I feel so repetitive.
+post scriptus+
(warning, spoiler)
(with apologies for not knowing characters' names)
fuck it. i'll be repetitive.
I guess what I noticed this time about the movie was The first time I saw American Beauty, I took the ending to mean only one thing...the boy's father was a closet homosexual, and so that is why he goes to confront the main character, and kisses him, and kills him. I took it to mean that the army guy was so fearful of his own sexuality that he had to kill the other man for making him aware of it.
But then, I was thinking this time, that maybe the army guy kills him because the main character is like a doppleganger or mirror image, and that he has to eliminate the reflection of himself that is literally across the street. It is a reflection, in that both men have defective relationships with their wives and children. Both men had gotten too serious about life.
But then, my friend Liz twisted this even more. She thought the army guy had gone over to kiss the man to "test" him, to see if his suspicions about his son were correct. And when he is rejected, the army guy has a meltdown because he realizes that he kicked his son out/disowned son for something that never happened.
And then, Liz and I agreed that it was interesting that the only characters who have a healthy, functional relationship are the neighbors who are openly gay. The boy and the girl seem to have too much self-destruction, and are too impulsive, plus, the boy was videotaping her, which is just creepy if you ask me. The cheerleader and the father...well, beyond the fact that she is a student, and probably a minor...her entire existence is based on being the center of attention with as many people as possible, and his objective, if he had one, was to have fun without responsibility.
Anyway, that was my observation. Any other bits of speculation on the ending (why the neighbor killed the girl's father), let me know. It's been driving me nutty for a few days.
The most discouraging thing is feeling like I have nothing new to add to the collective (un)consciousness.
I was going to write my interpretation of American Beauty, because it really struck me when I viewed it for a second time on Tuesday. Now I don't feel like bothering because I am sure that I made no real new observations. It must have already been written about in that way. The ambiguity of the ending has surely been analyzed to death.
I have been feeling like this about everything lately. I have no different angle...nothing new to add to the conversation...nothing witty to say...nothing remotely intelligent to say...and I feel so repetitive.
+post scriptus+
(warning, spoiler)
(with apologies for not knowing characters' names)
fuck it. i'll be repetitive.
I guess what I noticed this time about the movie was The first time I saw American Beauty, I took the ending to mean only one thing...the boy's father was a closet homosexual, and so that is why he goes to confront the main character, and kisses him, and kills him. I took it to mean that the army guy was so fearful of his own sexuality that he had to kill the other man for making him aware of it.
But then, I was thinking this time, that maybe the army guy kills him because the main character is like a doppleganger or mirror image, and that he has to eliminate the reflection of himself that is literally across the street. It is a reflection, in that both men have defective relationships with their wives and children. Both men had gotten too serious about life.
But then, my friend Liz twisted this even more. She thought the army guy had gone over to kiss the man to "test" him, to see if his suspicions about his son were correct. And when he is rejected, the army guy has a meltdown because he realizes that he kicked his son out/disowned son for something that never happened.
And then, Liz and I agreed that it was interesting that the only characters who have a healthy, functional relationship are the neighbors who are openly gay. The boy and the girl seem to have too much self-destruction, and are too impulsive, plus, the boy was videotaping her, which is just creepy if you ask me. The cheerleader and the father...well, beyond the fact that she is a student, and probably a minor...her entire existence is based on being the center of attention with as many people as possible, and his objective, if he had one, was to have fun without responsibility.
Anyway, that was my observation. Any other bits of speculation on the ending (why the neighbor killed the girl's father), let me know. It's been driving me nutty for a few days.
среда, 11 марта 2009 г.
Community y Diaspora
Because I am procrastinating on my school work, I already posted this week's collab topic question. Go answer it and make me feel special. I really don't know when I'll have my own answer because this is not a subject I think about very often, or at least, not in these terms.
вторник, 10 марта 2009 г.
abuse
from this week’s Hartford Advocate:
“How can a person know if a partner will turn out to be abusive as the relationship becomes more committed? Abusers have a gift for putting their charming, charismatic sides forward in the early stages of a relationship.[…]
The number one thing to watch out for is any kind of verbal abuse: yelling, name-calling, put-downs. They’re also the best indicators of future physical abuse. Does he impose a severe level of control, and what happens when she resists that control? If the control gets worse, that’s an almost certain sign of future serious mistreatment.”
This article was difficult for me to read through, for the obvious reasons, and I can’t say it had much of anything “new” in it, except it was refreshing to see it acknowledged that abusers also have very manipulative (or “charming”, if you want to call it that) personalities, in which they try to pit everyone against the victim.
“How can a person know if a partner will turn out to be abusive as the relationship becomes more committed? Abusers have a gift for putting their charming, charismatic sides forward in the early stages of a relationship.[…]
The number one thing to watch out for is any kind of verbal abuse: yelling, name-calling, put-downs. They’re also the best indicators of future physical abuse. Does he impose a severe level of control, and what happens when she resists that control? If the control gets worse, that’s an almost certain sign of future serious mistreatment.”
This article was difficult for me to read through, for the obvious reasons, and I can’t say it had much of anything “new” in it, except it was refreshing to see it acknowledged that abusers also have very manipulative (or “charming”, if you want to call it that) personalities, in which they try to pit everyone against the victim.
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